Frostbite

Frostbite is the fourth episode of Doctor Whooves and Assistant.

Transcript
Doctor: Now that just can’t be possible. I set the TARDIS to actually come at this specific moment in London. There can’t be any logical explanation for this...

Ditzy Doo: Oh hey! It’s you again.

Doctor: Ah! Hello, Ditzy, how’re you?

Ditzy: (clop) Where have you been all this time?

Doctor: Oh. I... was, actually, just here a few seconds ago trying to get my way back to London.

Ditzy: Doctor, it’s been... almost two months.

Doctor: Two months? Oh, that’s right. So that means the TARDIS sent in time and space relative to the dimension about, ooooh, a month off from here. But, I assure you I was just gone for a second. I’m a time traveler, remember?

Ditzy: (hesitantly) Right. But... I mean... that seems a little farfetched. Ah... I think I’m gonna need a little more than just you saying you’re a time traveling pony for me to believe that you were there seconds ago when, um, you know, months later.

Doctor: Oh, right. I’m, right... About that, I, in actual fact, (starts walking off) I can prove to you I the time... (Heads back to TARDIS) Here! Try your muffin.

Ditzy: Wait a minute, you still have those? (Doctor goes ‘Yup’) That’s kinda gro... Wait. I know my muffins: Those are freshly baked. But that’s impossible. I know what my muffins look like. You barely even taken a bite of one of them.

Doctor: (offended) Well!

Ditzy: And they’re fresh. You weren’t lying. Wow! You really weren’t lying! You actually are a time traveling pony! That’s so exciting!

Doctor: Heh... Wait. You’re not as cynical as I remember you to be.

Ditzy: Oh, sorry, that was because I thought you were crazy and kinda stupid.

Doctor: (offended) Well that’s just not...

Ditzy: (we’re gonna have lots of fun, interrupting) Well, I don’t anymore, right? (Giggles) You’re a time traveling pony, and I’ve accepted that, and also you are not exactly a pony, right?

Doctor: Right. I’m a ti...

Bully: Hey, Derpy Hooves. Try not to get lost this year, feather brain.

Ditzy: Yeah, (Bully chuckles) I know...

Doctor: Well... (Ditzy sighs) Who was that fellow anyway?

Ditzy: It’s just one of the ponies of... Ponyville. Don’t mind him; he’s not important.

Doctor: Why did he call you... Derpy Hooves? Sound like a nickname or something...

Ditzy: You could say that, yeah... It’s not exactly a nicest...

Doctor: Well... I don’t know about that, I think it sounds kinda cute.

Ditzy: Cute? What? Uh... What do you mean, cute?

Doctor: Well, think about it; Ditzy-Doo-Meet-Derpy-Hooves, Derpy-Hooves-Meet-Ditzy-Doo, Derpity-Derpity-Ditzy-Doo-Hooves. I find it rather whimsical and melodious really.

Ditzy: (hesitant) Well... when you put it like that... (Giggles)

[INTRO THEME SONG] Doctor: Right! Now, um, tell me; why are you dressed up like that?

Ditzy: Oh! You mean the vest? This is for Winter Wrap-Up.

Doctor: Winter Wrap-Up?

Ditzy: (shocked gasp) Oh! You don’t know about Winter Wrap-Up, do you?

Doctor: Is that some sort of, um... pony celebration sort of thing?

Ditzy: Yes! Yes it is! It’s one of the best celebrations in Ponyville.

Doctor: Huh.

Ditzy: You see, this is a time when we get rid of winter and welcome spring. It’s really fun; we all come together and (sudden gasp). You’re not really a pony, are you?

Doctor: No, that’s what I’ve been trying to...

Ditzy: You should join!

Doctor: (shock) What? I can’t just...

Ditzy: Yes! You should join Winter Wrap-Up! I could teach you everything, because if you do Winter Wrap-Up, then it’ll help you learn to be a pony! Think about it; it’s one of the oldest Ponyville traditions and you’re not allowed to use magic, so what better way to learn to be a pony than do an old pony celebration?

Doctor: Well that just... what am I supposed to do?

[MUSIC STARTS] Derpy: Put on this vest and listen, I'll teach you what to do!

Doctor: But Ditzy I don't come from here, I just don't have a clue!

Derpy: Well then I'll explain so you can know, there is nothing you should fear

Doctor: I'll try to do my very best, but it still seems so unclear...

Derpy: Each year we help to welcome spring And all things warm and green

Doctor: But how can you even start with that?

Derpy: It's fine, I'll take the lead

Doctor: How do I help? I'm no pony What am I supposed to do? It all seems strange and very awkward

Derpy: Don't worry I'll help you! Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up! You can do it, I'm right here Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up! Come on Doctor have no fear Come on Doctor have no fear! First you take this rake right here And scoop up all the snow

Doctor: (muffled) I got it but it still feels weird It's hard to do you know

Derpy: Now take this plow, you are doing just fine

Doctor: Well, it's not so bad, in fact I'm starting to shine!

Doctor: Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up! I can do it cuz you're here Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up! This is fun, I have no fear! Winter Wrap-up, Winter Wrap up!

Derpy: I'm with you so have no fear!

Doctor: Cuz with you I have no fear

(spoken by both) Doctor: I'm really liking the rake, I think I might keep it for good memories!

Derpy: See Mr. Doctor? I told you it was fun!

Doctor: It's just Doctor, but when you're right, you're right!

Both: Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up! Let's finish our holiday cheer Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up! 'Cause tomorrow Spring is here Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up! 'Cause tomorrow Spring is here 'Cause tomorrow Spring is here 'Cause tomorrow Spring is here! [End song]

Doctor: Ha! Fancy that... So that’s Winter Wrap-Up.

Ditzy: Yep. Though... I’ve been teaching you all this stuff, so I barely got to do any of what I was supposed to do.

Doctor: Oh, what were you supposed to do?

Ditzy: Well, I still have to fly south and get the southern birds. You see... last year... It’s not my fault! I mean, it was the wind currents. They threw me off and... I wound up going the wrong direction. But this year, for sure, I... think I can get south...um, a bit late, though...

Doctor: I have an idea, Ditzy. (Ditzy inquisitively hmms) Why don’t you follow me? I’m a time traveler AND we can use my time machine: the TARDIS.(walking commences)

Ditzy: Y-... Time machine? But...

Doctor: Sure!

Ditzy: It’s a time machine, how’s it gonna take me anywhere other than, you know, in the old cave pony era.

Doctor: (begins chuckling uncontrollably, attempts to stifle it) C-c-c-a-a--av-e po-ny....Are you serious? (Clears throat) Well (Ditzy uh’s concernedly) Follow me and you’ll be in for quite the surprise! Come along!

Ditzy: Ok...

(Transition) Ditzy: You really like that rake. You weren’t kidding about taking it with you.

Doctor: What’s wrong with this rake? It should be important when I need it.

Ditzy: Well, what are you gonna need it for? You’re not gonna eat it, are you?

Doctor: No. Moon-raking space dust, on the other hand, THAT is what you need it for.

Ditzy: Uh... ok.

Doctor: (walking stops) Here we are, Ditzy, AND, just to reacquaint you, meet the Time And Relative Dimension In Space, or TARDIS for short.

Ditzy: Oh, that’s what it stands for.

Doctor: Well wha... What did you think it stands for?

Ditzy: I thought it was Totally Awesome... Uh... and I... I kinda couldn’t think of anything after the R. (giggles)

Doctor: (chuckles) Uh, well, uh...(clears throat) About that, let’s just take a look inside, shall we?

Ditzy: Ok! (Door noises) Wuh... Whoa...

Doctor: Yeees?

Ditzy: It’s... it’s...

Doctor: Go on...

Ditzy:... It’s smaller on the outside!

Doctor: Hmm... Fancy that.(Ditzy huh’s in confusion) That’s one way to put it.

Ditzy: Well what was I supposed to say?

Doctor: Well, sss... I was kinda expecting something about it being bigger on the inside, BUT who am I to complain?

Ditzy: That’s just silly. Look at it; it’s like... it’s like a can of sardines, all packed in.

Doctor: Well you could say... Now wait a minute, how do you know about canned sardines?

Ditzy: Canned what? Who puts fish in cans? That’s silly. You’re silly, Doctor.

Doctor: Yeeeah, I’m silly... SO!... To the south?

Ditzy: To the south!

Doctor: Alright, all I just need to do is (starts fiddling with buttons and levers) switch this lever and we’ll be over there before lickity-split.

Ditzy: I had a friend named Lickity-Split.

Doctor: Now! (Ding)

Ditzy: Wait a minute! We didn’t even move. What are you talking about?

Doctor: We’re here!

Ditzy: We can’t be here; I mean it just kinda went “Vvvvvvvvv”

Doctor: Aaaah, my good Ditzy, where’s your sense of adventure? Just beyond those doors lies the southern tropics, the beautiful birds saying “Ditzy, you did a fantastic job!”

Ditzy: Uh, ok! (opens door) Uh.... Whoa, Doctor?

Doctor: I know, right? Brilliant.

Ditzy: No.

Doctor: Huh?

Ditzy: Doctor...

Doctor: What?

Ditzy: I don’t think the south (wind starts blowing) is covered in mountains and snow.

Doctor: Wait, now that just can’t be right... Oh dear goodness... We’re in the north! Fancy that.

Ditzy: I don’t think that’s a good thing, I’m supposed to be south. Your... blue box thing didn’t work!

Doctor: Something’s not right. (Door closing) Take a look at that. Doesn’t the air feel a bit abnormal?

Ditzy: Abnormal? Well... Wait a minute. Come to think of it, those clouds up there... I’m an expert in clouds. Us pegasi have to be. I’ve never seen clouds like that before.

Doctor: Huh... That does seem very, very odd. Let’s go check it out!

Ditzy: Wait, wait, just like that?

Doctor: Yep! That’s what we’re here for!

Ditzy: No, it’s not!

Doctor: It is now!

Ditzy: So you have to stick your muzzle in everything?

Doctor: That’s the way it works.

Ditzy: Well... Ok! Let’s go! This should be fun.

Doctor: Ah, that’s more like it! (sing-songy) Fun fu-fu fun fun!

Ditzy: So what’re we looking for exactly?

Doctor: Eeeeh... We’re looking for any abnormality; something that would, ooh... rock your socks off.

Ditzy: But I like my socks.

Doctor: Well, it’s a figure of speech, but... ponies and socks. That’s new; I’d like to see that.

Ditzy: Don’t get creepy on me, Doctor.

Doctor: Anyways, just look for anything that’s not supposed to be here.

Ditzy: Well those clouds aren’t supposed to be here.

Doctor: Well that’s one, but this ground. Doesn’t it feel a bit weird in the snow? Looks like snow, but look! No foot prints.

Ditzy: Hoof prints.

Doctor: (stifles a chortle) Yeah. That. Hoof prints.

Ditzy: Are you going to do that every time?

Doctor: Do what? I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Ditzy: Uh.... Nevermind. But you are right. There’s no hoof prints in the... snow... Doctor, what’re we standing on? (A rumbling starts) It’s moving. Heh... it’s moving!

Doctor: Oh my goodness. (Fralorn roars) A fralorn? Here?

Ditzy: (I see a red line and I want to interrupt) A fa-what?

Doctor: A fralorn: planetary parasites. It’s amazing that one is here. Just take a look. But what’s it doing here? Perhaps (indistinguishable as fralorn begins to speak.)

Fralorn: (Roars) The young will feed.

Doctor: Oh.

Ditzy: Doctor?

Doctor: See, it’s trying to lay eggs.

Ditzy: Wait, what? What are you talking about, lay eggs?

Doctor: Yeah...

Ditzy: That ‘thing’ is going to lay eggs?

Doctor: Yeah. It’s... right here trying to lay its eggs and the only way it does is...

Fralorn: (chuckles maliciously)

Doctor: Oh...

Fralorn: Cold... Forever cold...

Doctor: Yeah, about them... They try to drop the temperatures of the entire planet with gases they make, those clouds, to horrendously cold temperatures so that the young can hatch and thrive.

Ditzy: What’s that gonna do to our planet?

Doctor: Well... that means the planet’s going to freeze.

Ditzy: That can’t happen! This is... This is everypony’s home! You gotta stop it, Doctor. Can you do anything?

Doctor: The fralorn tend to be instinctual, but this one knows basic speech. I’ll try to reason with it, but keep in mind we might have to go to plan B.

Ditzy: Ok.

Doctor: Greetings, fralorn! I’m the Doctor, (Fralorn lurches closer with a growl) I come in peace. Under the Shadow Proclamation Act, I’m here to issue a warning; you cannot make this planet a cold wasteland for your eggs, it’s already very much occupied, BUT if you follow me, I will take you to a colder planet.

Fralorn: This planet is the new home!

Doctor: No, no, no. This planet is protected and I happen to be its ambassador.

Ditzy: You are?

Doctor: (whispered) No, it doesn’t know that, but let’s just assume I am.

Ditzy: Oh, ok.

Doctor: Right, so here’s the plan; you follow me, I take you and your offspring to another planet where there’s fine food and cold climate (loud thrash) AAAAAAH!

Ditzy: Aaaah! I got you, Doctor... again.

Doctor: Huh. Thanks! Right, but we need to distract him and I don’t know what to do.

Ditzy: Distract him? What’s plan B?

Doctor: I don’t know! Plan B was to wing-it!

Ditzy: U-uh, wing-it? What, are you crazy?

Doctor: Hi-ya! (Ditzy makes a resigned ‘uh’, Doctor leaps onto the fralorn) This outa do it!(Fires Sonic Screwdriver) I hope...(Fralorn grumbles in pain) Huh, fancy that. The sonic disorients it. I’ll keep it covered! You gotta do something and fast!

Ditzy: Hold on a minute... it lives in cold climates... Doctor! I’m a Pegasus, I can clear the clouds away! That should make it warmer!

Doctor: (Keeps firing Sonic Screwdriver, fralorn keeps growling) Do it! Hurry!

Ditzy: (starts kicking away the clouds) Eeyah! Ah! Got it! Almost... It’s really hard to keep up, but there’s so much snow!

Doctor: (More sonic screwdriving, fralorn mumble grumbles) He makes it hard to clear the snow. (Not a hundred percent sure on that line)Ditzy! Keep doing what you’re doing!

Ditzy: Ok!

Doctor: It’s time to do Winter Wrap-Up: Time Lord style! (More sonic screwing, fralorn growls of discomfort.) Huh. I knew keeping this rake was a good idea. Let’s just move this here, attatch the rake there, a little tweak with the sonic...(sonic screwdriver sound effect.) Aaaand co-ordinates set! I’m sorry old girl, but you need to fly again.(sonic screwdriving)Ah-ha! Fancy that. It’s gonna be brilliant.

Ditzy: Doctor, it’s charging right towards you!

Doctor: Perfect! Keep at it, Ditzy!

Ditzy: Ok!

Fralorn: They will... hatch... soon... on cold... planet...

Doctor: Oh no, you won’t. Now you listen to me and you listen to me good, fralorn! This planet has a lot of wonderful ponies. I haven’t met ‘em all, yet they’re wonderful! And I’m not going to let their planet turn into a planet of ice. I’m the Doctor and the Doctor is in!

(The TARDIS starts going off, a spinning sound is heard)

Ditzy: There! Last cloud, Doctor!

Doctor: Perfect!... You see that, fralorn?(bubbling sound) My TARDIS is spinning all your precious snow away, just as I set it to. (Fralorn groans) Spring time is here. (Fralorn groans again) Well, you didn’t listen.

(Fralorn melts)

Ditzy: Doctor, it... melted.

Doctor: Yeeaah, ‘bout the fralorn: they tend to keep an internal temperature about negative (clopping starts) 270 degree centigrade. The fact we raised the core temperature up about a smidgen or so caused it to melt,(TARDIS door opens) BUT the eggs are still safe. I just need to take them to some nice cold planet so that they hatch and live their little wormy lives however they want.

Ditzy: Wait, you can take it to another planet?

Doctor: Of course. Wait a moment. (TARDIS door closes and then teleports and returns.) Wah!

Ditzy: Wah! Whoa... you’re, ee... (Nervous giggle)

Doctor: Well wha... what did you expect?

Ditzy: You look like you’ve been gone a lot longer.

Doctor: Possibly, but... Oh! While planting some of the eggs, I realized something; I... I’m in another dimension. I mean it’s almost exactly like the one I come from, but instead of humanoid being the universal shape, it’s... ponies. It’s impossible for me to even be here, but here I am. Fancy that. Oh, uh, but, uh, never mind that. Did you want to come along and discover it with me?

Ditzy: Wait, come along? Whatta you mean?

Doctor: Well, I’m a pony now and I can’t just go out exploring the whole of the universe without another pony to show me the ropes of... pony-ness.

Ditzy: Wait a minute, Time And Relative Dimension In Space... You’re telling me that you’re not just a time traveler... you travel in space?

Doctor: Yep!

Ditzy: Move over! I’m coming with you! (pushing the Doctor asside)

Doctor: Woah! (TARDIS door closes) So we’re off to a colder plane-

Ditzy: Hey!

Doctor: Yeah?

Ditzy: You ate all my muffins...